Mutual Finance

The Brown family is the model family. The family has eight children, and the mother is the only living parent. Her oldest child begs her to prepare a will, but the mother refuses. The mother says, “I’ve brought my children up right. You should know how to get along.” The mother passes in a few years. All hell breaks loose. While the mother was in the hospital, some of the siblings were already taking things out of the house. Several items are missing. Siblings are not speaking to each other. The house can’t be sold because no one agrees. The Brown family is a mess.

The Problem

Have you ever witnessed the destruction of a family? If you haven’t, watch what happens when a family has to deal with family property? You may brag that your family is perfectly sane and would not argue over trivial property matters. Your family is probably the exception. As I grow older, I constantly hear stories of families being torn apart because of disagreements over property.

Obviously, I don’t get it from our parents. From the older generation, most don’t want to prepare a will (I guess acting one may speed up the burial process). I can’t believe it, but most have this picture of perfect children getting along.

The Gospel Truth

However, if the truth was revealed, the siblings never got along. I hear nightmare stories of major disagreements over dividing properties. It gets really complicated when you need to involve the next generation (nephews, nieces, cousins, etc.). The larger the people involved, the more issues you need to deal with. Dave Ramsey, nationally syndicated talk show host and author of Financial Peace, recommends that families sell the property. I have listened to numerous property nightmares on his show.

What is so bad about sharing family property? We are relatives. We should know how to love each other. The problem is everyone doesn’t have perfect family members in their perfect families. Fighting over inheritance is nothing new. In Luke 12:13, an unhappy man who wants Jesus to make his brother share the inheritance of his father approaches Jesus. Jesus plainly informed him that it was not his purpose to settle this argument with his brother.

Obviously, Jesus could have intervened if he liked. Jesus didn’t get involved for a reason. Eventually, the man’s motives were not genuine. Jesus turns to the crowd (Luke 12:15) and explains, “Don’t be greedy! Owning a lot of things won’t make your life safe.” Do you have a relative who doesn’t want to do right? You say go left. They go right. There’s always someone who refuses to do their part or refuses to get on board with the plan.

There’s always that family member who looking for something for nothing. Well, you’re related to them now and you have joint property with them. I understand the issues because we are forced to deal with joint family property. It’s not a pleasant thought. Here are some suggestions in helping you with your decisions:

• Talk with your parents about preparing a family will. Convey this is important for keeping peace in the family.
  
• Talk with siblings candidly about your concerns.
  
• Start making copies of family photos for everyone so that the precious photos don’t disappear suddenly.
  
• Maintain an adequate savings in case you may need to use it with family properties.
  
• Determine in advance how you are going to respond to individuals who get on your last nerves in your family. This is a good time to think positively.
  
• Find friends who have dealt with the situation for advice and encouragement.
  
• Determine to keep a positive attitude even in the midst of confusion.
  

The Ideal Situation

Ideally, adults should be able to deal with family property. All it takes is a little maturity on people’s part. In the absence of this maturity, you get lots of drama and hurt feelings. You will get through it and become a stronger person (at least, you will have a stronger testimony in church). Stay the course. Love your relatives. Plan diligently for the future. Start today!

Daryl and Estraletta Green provide personal advice all around the country. Daryl is the author of two books, Awakening the Talents Within and My Cup Runneth Over. They have been noted and quoted in such media organizations such as USA Today, NBC’s Alive at Five, Heaven 600, Answerline, American Urban Radio, The Bev Smith Show, The Hallerin Hill Show, Ebony Magazine, and BET’s Buy the Book. The Green’s nationally syndicated column, FamilyVision, reached 200 newspapers and over 12 million readers.

FamilyVision is a dynamic column that explores the changing family dynamics in the 21st century. The Greens, members of Generation X, are equipped with a unique perspective in understanding emerging trends in families as well as individuals.

To get a free one hour personal coaching session, you can contact them at http://www.darylandestraletta.com.

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Pastor, as you know, God created us in such a way that we are motivated to act in our own best interest. That’s why He gives us so many promises of blessing for obedience, and threats of painful loss for disobedience.

Based on this basic biblical principle of spiritual motivation, as you seek to lead your church into generous giving, you will want to emphasize the rewards God promises to faithful stewards. Not the least of these is that givers will be happier.

My personal experience confirms this promise. And so does that of the members of my former church. In a congregational survey, 96 percent of our people affirmed that they had a new sense of joy in life since they began to give at least ten percent of their income to the Lord.

Because everyone wants to be happy, you do your people a great service when you teach them to give. In my annual stewardship series I made sure I reminded our people of the following truths. I encourage you to pass these on to your flock.

Giving Produces Happiness

In Acts 20:35 we read,

“In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (NASB).

In this passage “blessed” means happy. Jesus promises that the person who gives will be given greater happiness than the one who receives.

According to this promise, if you take two people, one who gives a thousand dollars, and another who receives a thousand dollars, the person who gives the thousand dollars will be happier!

That’s not how we naturally think, but Jesus knows He made us in such a way that when we give to God and others with cheerful hearts, we experience great happiness!

Stingy People Are Unhappy People

Stingy, selfish, people who don’t give to God and their church are often the most unhappy, joyless people. You’ve seen a selfish child gripping a toy with both hands, refusing to share with her little brother, crying and screaming, “Mine, mine, mine!” She’s definitely not a happy camper.

Happy children are taught that their toys belong not to them, but to Jesus. When they share willingly they feel an inner joy and they experience a sense of self-respect.

Many Christians are figuratively clenching their wallets with both hands and as they hear a message on giving they begin screaming in their minds, “Mine, mine, mine!” They are not happy people.

The only people who don’t like sermons on giving generously are people who don’t give generously! You’ll never be as happy as possible while you keep your fist tightly clenched around your wallet.

If you want to be happier, start giving.

Copyright 2006 Rod Rogers

Rod Rogers, D.Min., is a stewardship consultant, speaker, and author of Pastor Driven Stewardship: 10 Steps to Lead Your Church to Biblical Giving. His ten-step Dynamic Giving System

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In life we establish patterns of behaviour or habits, these are the curse to really enjoying ones self, if they are not formulated correctly as we grow.

How many people become successful financially but cannot enjoy their wealth because they have always been miserley in their actions? Happiness is not about having money, it is about enjoying what it can do. Any person who starts their working life and decides to scrimp and save, will undoubtedly end up with some money, the problem is, that they will not have enjoyed their journey to that point, and when they get there they cannot spend the money because they have not formed good habits on the way through.

How many people had this mentality leading up to the Great Depression of 1929 in America? and overnight, they were wiped out financially. The man who obtained his wealth by being miserley, had no chance of regaining his wealth, because he had run out of time, but the man who was philanthropic and generous, found that all the people he had helped in the past, would come to his aid and help him rebuild his fortune. It is the same in day to day life for everyone, if you are caring and generous with everything you do, that includes time, emotion and money, you will find that good things tend to happen and flow towards you. A lot of people tend to misinterpret this, and say what about giving to people who are wasters,or do not bother to help themselves, this is a special case and you can often do more harm than good if you help these people. These people have no idea as to the value of money and they always have good intentions to repay you, or make good somehow, but because you have helped them, you have infact increased their debt. To assist these people, the only way is to make them take responsibility for their actions, if they ask you for a loan, say sure I will give you 50% if you can get the other 50% without borrowing it. I guarantee you will never have to loan them any money. The other problem with loaning money to friends, is that you invariably fall out when it comes to the repayment of it. If the person is a good friend then give them the money free of any conditions that way you can feel good about the situation and you never have to ask for repayment. It is not really beneficial to spend too much time in the company of someone who is on a different wave length to you, or is moping constantly about how hard fortune has been on them . Surround yourself and associate with people you admire, that could be the fact that they are a happy family, it could be that they play golf well, or you just feel good in their company. This association has nothing to do with wealth some of my dearest friends are on a different social level to me and many are in a much wealthier position than me, all that is important is that you enjoy their company. Choosing your friends is a great leveller because a true friendship transcends everything. Once a genuine friendship has been formed it does not seem to matter how long it is between seeing each other when you do meet again it is as if you had never been apart.

Croz is a motivational speaker and personal mentor. His specialist subject is STRESS management. For more info on Croz go to http://www.croz.com.au.

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